Flexing Your Social Muscles During Covid-19

A lot of people have been telling me that they are experiencing feelings of depression, anxiety and a lack of motivation, during their time at home due to Covid-19. There could be many reasons why this is occurring, but I believe that one major reason is the fact that we are not flexing out “social muscles” enough. Due to social distancing, we are losing the face to face, human contact with our friends, family and even strangers. When we do leave the house, we are careful to leave at least six feet of distance between ourselves and the person in our orbit, at the grocery store or on our daily walk. In the beginning of the “quarantine” I noticed that people were still making eye contact in these situations, smiling and greeting one another, even more then usual. There seemed to be a need to acknowledge that we are all in this together and we wanted to show support for one another.

As the quarantine drags on, I am starting to notice a weariness among people, less eye contact, less smiling and more of a need to move further away. This is not just happening between strangers; it’s also happening with our distanced family and friends. I’ll give you an example: In the first days of social distancing, friends, families and neighbors were eagerly participating in Zoom dinners/game nights/happy hours as well as driveway conversations. People seemed to gain strength from these encounters, as they were fulfilling their natural need to connect. Now, three to four weeks in, this no longer seems to be the case. While there are still Zoom get togethers, the people involved seem tired, there is less joking, less laughter. It seems to have become a burden to participate. I rarely see people gathering on there respective driveways with their neighbors anymore. Why?

I suspect the answer may be as simple as this: we are no longer exercising our “social muscles”. Humans are social animals and the more we have connection (not through a screen or 6 feet away) the more we build our “social muscles”. In much the same way that less physical exercise makes us more tired and reduces our motivation to work out, less socialization can reduce our motivation to connect with others. While this may sound odd, just think about a time when you stopped working out, for whatever reason, and how difficult it was to get started again. It’s the same concept. The implications from this can be serious. Isolation will increase as will the potential for increased anxiety and depression.

So, what’s the answer, since we know we can’t have in person contact right now. The answer is this: we must force ourselves to continue to connect, despite our lack of motivation. We must push through the feelings of apathy and weariness and continue to connect on video platforms, force ourselves to make eye contact and smile at one another on our walks and at the store. The more we do it, the better we will feel. Just as with physical exercise, while our mind may tell us we don’t have the energy or the desire, we inevitably feel better after we work out. It works the same with socialization. Initially, you may not get the desired effect and still experience that weariness but with repeated social(distanced) contact you will begin to feel better and more motivated.

As I said earlier, there are many reasons why individuals are experiencing an increase in anxiety and depressive symptoms and this is just one. But it is one that we can do something about.

Eventually, hopefully sooner, rather then later, we will be on the other side of this and having maintained our connections as best we can, will make the transition back to the real world that much easier.

Lisa